Add (a bit of) Slowpoke

Hello again!

You may notice the time between this and the last blog is rather vast. That’s not because I’ve stopped working on my games or anything like that, but I have seem to lost motivation in the content creation element of my craft. Of course, there’s been a bit of procrastination, but I just haven’t been able to force myself to pump out the blogs, creating content for youtube and patreon, or even stream my games’ development. I actually quite enjoy streaming when I do (even if it is to an empty chat), but I’ve lost a lot of excitement that comes with going live; and I kinda beat myself up about not streaming/working hard at my dream.
I, along with some of my best mates, suspect I have undiagnosed ADHD.

When I was younger, family and teachers alike would jokingly ask if I have ADHD in face of some of my behavior. I never thought much of it, and like my family and teachers, I would blame myself for being lazy (for not doing chores or school-work). To this day, I still do accuse myself of being lazy, and have been for not streaming or making content.

I thought about this a lot over the last 2 days, and after watching Jaiden Animation’s video on being diagnosed and treated for ADHD (along with many other videos on the topic), I’m pretty much set on getting diagnosed. To be honest, I am skeptical about taking medication and whether it will change me or take away some of my unrealized skills (for example, I learn how to play games at a high skill level quickly, even on the very first time playing it). But this seems to be a shared experience.

I could write for DAYS about reflecting back through the lens of possibly having brain issues, but I might save that for another blog or video :)

I’m writing this today because I’m (yet again) jumping back on the saddle. I’m currently learning DaVinci Resolve [a new video editing tool] in order to create a video that outmatches the quality of my last video. I’ve been sitting on script drafts and saved twitch clips for a flash game “remaster” I’ve been working on that I’ve been meaning to make a video on. My other game project (currently titled BEAN - completely unrelated) has also been coming along nicely. As well as my personal life becoming a bit more structured.

TLDR; Content is coming, I probably have ADHD, Don’t be overly hard on yourself.

bang bang skeet skeet